We stand in our disappointment over a missed opportunity to be together, but the following weekend is a another chance to connect, to blend... to enmesh. It's also the weekend of the family reunion. Timeline? Late March.
I return from a quick trip to chicago and R invites me to dinner at his cousin's house - Day One of the Annual Family Get Together. At first glance they're normal. I don't know why I'm surprised by this, but I am. Maybe I can attribute it to the stories of his childhood which are not altogether pleasant. Or maybe it's the severity to which his father ended his life. Whatever the case, the grown siblings, cousins, spouses, aunts and uncles are absolutely lovely.
"How did y'all meet?" the family's recently-designated matriarch asks. Nothing like being put on the spot. Thankfully, I have my comic bag of tricks within arm's reach.
"We met at the Austin Dinner Club," I share. "It's this place for really desperate lonely singles to go and meet other pathetic lonely singles," I add with a feigned whine and whimper.
Lots of laughs. Yep, that WOO strength (winning over others) can be applied at work AND in awkward social settings where you're face-to-face meeting your new boyfriend's family for the first time. Somewhere amid the laughs and conversation his uncle proposes marriage to me. Like his sister the matriarch, he's charming and sweet.
R holds my hand throughout the night and I hold his in return. This nets us all sorts of oohs and ahhs, but tomorrow will be the real test. R's big brother drives in from Houston and his reputation proceeds him. R warned me on our first date at Tacos and Tequila that he'd be colorful. Without missing a beat, big brother arrives the next day and in hushed whispers I hear, "does she know that we share?"
What? Did I really just hear that?
He proves to be harmless and truly, the whole family is just so genuinely awesome. And they really like each other! At least enough to meet every year for an entire weekend. On my mother's side of the family my grandfather's siblings - he was one of 12 twelve children - and their descendants still gather one to two times a year in Topeka, Kansas. On Dad's side we had a reunion once ten years ago and I organized that from 1200 miles away. It was nice, but nothing like this. Always, I find myself drawn to those whose immediately large families offer more color than my own.
On Day Two we graze -- if not somewhat inappropriately -- on an all-day buffet of BBQ from the Salt Lick. With unlimited alcohol to quench our thirst we roll into the nighttime fairly lit. Most of the remaining siblings and cousins join R out on the porch while I stay inside to visit with his mom.
We can all put our moms in a box, assume that she is this or that without knowing the depths of knowledge or secrets residing in her heart. To R and his siblings she does nothing to take care of her health, she rambles incessantly and whines. Early in the day I agree with their assessment. At the end of the day she is quite different.
With KU playing in the Final Four in the background, R's mom discreetly shares her perspective on her youngest son and what didn't work in his marriage. Eventually our conversation turns to her and her relationships. If she has one piece of advice it's this: "uncover now or as soon as possible each other's issues before getting too attached. It'll make moving forward easier whether you're together or apart."
As if on queue, the next several weeks will consist of ample opportunities to uncover each other's shit as some call it. R's words from our second weekend together will resonate: "How do we sustain this?" Indeed, how will we?
For now, though, R and I bask still in the novelty of US. He returns from outside and joins me on the couch. "Mom, did you ever think that someone would like me this much again?"
Without missing a beat she replies, "Well, she doesn't know you that well yet." My eyes widen slightly, but her words seem to go in one ear and right out the other for R. Everyone files in from outback and the cousins take their leave, as does big brother with his wife and family. It's just R's mom now along with his sisters and their families and me.
I lay on the couch while R massages my back. Indifferent to anyone in the room, his right hand finds his way to my chest. Seriously? He's grabbing at my right boob and it's all I can do to not Laugh Out Loud. I turn to my back and he refuses to stop, engaging my boob in a full blown titty twist. It hurts but mostly it -- or rather he -- just surprises me to no end with his inappropriate yet hilarious affection.
Laughter erupts from some deep primal reserve, unrecognizable and contagious. Soon, everyone is in on "the secret" as subtlety has COMPLETELY left the room. He pulls me up from the couch and, still laughing, he takes me by the hand. "Good night everyone," he says as we ascend the stairs. He walks down the hallway of his house determined to find a vacant room to continue with his "punishment."
We take temporary refuge in a guest room when I remind him, "Uhm, I'm still on that medicine... you know the one for the bacterial vag thing."
"Still?"
"Yeah. Not going to be able to you know..." He looks contemplatively at me.
"Feeling adventurous?" he asks with a devilish grin.
"With you? Always." And off we go into uncharted territory but not without his sister and her husband busting in on us first. Crap, did I just see a flash go off?
"Oh my god, you two," his sister berates while her husband snaps two more pics. Fortunately, we'd grabbed the bed cover just as we heard them at the door. They make a hasty exit but fail to turn the light back off. R, indifferent to modesty and the opinions of others, resumes administering his behind-the-scenes punishment. Twenty minutes and three climaxes later I have his full and complete consent to come a fourth and final time with him. We collapse in a pile of giggles and exhaustion as we attempt to regain our composure and our clothes. Dressed, we leave in search of a landing pad for a good night's sleep.
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