"Three different people have come up to me this morning talking about your Brazilian," he states with that cocky assuredness that makes me want to swing a bat at his head.
"What are you talking about?"
"It's all over the company. Don't worry, I'm sure your boss will talk to you about it."
What the F? How does he know? And more importanly, which three people? We were all joking about hygiene at dinner the night before, bordering on over-shares because of one colleague's refusal to filter his communication. Red creeps to my ears and there is less than a minute to pull it together and make it in time to the two-hour breakout session.
Two hours will pass before I can take a deep breath, before I can talk to a friend, before I can verify that I still have a job. Is he fuckin' with me? I vacilate between wanting to hog-tie the three people with whom I joked about waxing and then wanting to tell the cocky one to shove it up his ass.
One moment I'm wrestling with embarrassment that there is an entire coversation among the throngs of employees about my girl parts - will I have to bury myself in a corner, turn the volume down on my laugh and bow my head in shame? The next moment I'm telling myself to hold my head up high, that if someone has an opinion or judgement about me that they can go to hell. "Yeah, I take care of my business and you can only imagine getting a piece of this mother fuckers!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm doubting three different people told him about my Latin hair cut, but someone said something and now he's acting like he has something over me. But does he? This sales leader who sips O'Douls with a holier-than-though attitude. Who has the shit on whom? I've learned that until recently this person would get phone numbers from strippers and then upon his return to the city call to take them shopping. Sometimes they'd stand him up, but other times they'd show and he'd take the lovely ladies to dine with surgeons at dinner. Now that's classy, especially when the unsuspecting and ever-dutiful wife waits for him at home expecting their first child.
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